Please Don't
by RoMayDrako
Summary: From Rinoa's point of veiw, romance between her and Seifer bloosemed, but something keeps inturpting.... DEPRESSING WARNING
1. first

Please  
  
  
Disclaimer I do not own FF8  
  
  
  
  
I sit in my room and curl up in a corner. Seifer yet agian layed a attempt on his own life. Why he could be such a asshole and do that I do not know... I just do not know. Some people see me as strong, and the last person to collapse. Where was they guy that fallowed his heart to a better pasture. Where was my less then perfect Romeo? This person that no replaces him is a stranger to me... Yet as it is told to me, this is not the first time this has happened. Nor will it be his last, I'm certian of it.  
  
Seifer is now cast out of the school never to return again. How much I long to hold him in my arms. To comfort him while his mind is a messed up aray of jumbled words, and the feeling of loosing control. At first I didn't know what it ment when he said he felt like he was loosing control. Now I understand fully.  
  
I do love him alot, even when I dislike him the most. Who understands what I'm going through? I'm exspected to laugh and smile, blow off what he did. But what about the pain and betrayal in my heart? It it not important to show that wound to the world just like everyone else. I barry my head in my knees as I begin to cry. Tears only comming to my eyes when I'm alone and sucluded. I must be strong for others, I must never show my sarrow. It feels like my duty to be the strongest, cause everytime I collapse, others know it's as bad as it's gonna get.  
  
Oh Seifer my love, I'm not as strong as they think I am. Why do you do these things to me? To everyone? Do you understand how much I need you in this world? Em I a failure? At one time you told me I made you the happiest, but now you constantly try to leave me. Don't leave me Seifer, I may be miles away from you, but my heart sits right next you. Please don't do this agian, I beg of you Seifer. I need you.... And I love you so much. No matter how much you do wrong, only this can tear us apart. 


	2. second

Please Don't Chapter 2: Let me care  
  
Disclaimer I do not own FF 8  
  
  
  
I sigh as I go about my day, Seifer locked up temporarily so that he may not tempt again. Also my heart eased by words of a friend who's gone through this. In her case it took both of them hurting each other in the same day for either of them to get better, or least to the point they didn't long to end there life. I'm not suicidal and I'd never do something that extreme but I did realize something deep with in me. Something that my quick emotions over rid.  
  
I love Seifer, and though I may worry for him, and get frustrated, I accept he's suicidal tendencies. It's a part of him, and even if he loses control and does it again I'll be here. For him to get over that, I will accept it. I cannot turn my back on him when he needs someone. Though I wish he'd get help when he feels the tendencies coming on.   
  
Oh Seifer it upsets me because I care about you very much, and I'm either concerned or worried, but I don't want you to stress over it. I just want to try to help you. And I'll give you my best not to yell at you when you get in these moods. Seifer dear I understand more then ever, won't you let me care for you?  
  
"Rinoa, RINOA!"  
  
I look up at an annoyed Quintis, it surprised me how much a woman like her could stay annoyed, and yet still love life. I sigh and suppress my thoughts as I sit up.  
  
"Yes, Quintis?"  
  
"Are you going to stare at that screen all day?" Quintis asks me. "What is your problem anyway?"  
  
I force out a laugh, "nothing."  
  
Nothing? Yeah I know it was a lie but some people you don't tell the truth. If I told he about Seifer and how I felt she'd rust me to the infirmary. I don't know why but she's always looking for reasons to put me away. Like it's a fun game to her. Right now, that would be bad, I needed to stay at my best for Seifer.  
  
"You sure you don't need some help?" Quintis asks again.  
  
"Quintis, I'm not up to your game of fifty questions." I snap back at her.  
  
I get up and leave the room before she could say anymore. She was the one that needed the help not me. That woman had a whole case load of problems that needed immediate treatment. I stifle a chuckle at the thought of Quintis were she belongs. She was an insane person in sane persons clothes.  
  
I walk down the hallway at a breakneck pace. I wasn't headed any where in particular, I just wanted to head some where. Maybe I should call Seifer's sister. She had been great to me these last few days, despite herself having a worse time then me. Lets just say I learned Seifer's sister was one woman never to be reckoned with. To the point of I hope she knows when I ask her to do things, I hope she knows she don't have to do them. I do not want to get on her bad side.  
  
I wave to Zell as I pass him in the hallway. As of usual he didn't look at me he just continued on his way. Who knew what really bugged him, but he did stop and say my boyfriend was gay once or twice. I push the button on the elevator to go down. Nerves are short around here. It was so heavy and depressing to see everyone down, but what can you do?   
  
One person and to many problems. I really have to learn that I can't fix everything, nor can predict the future.  
  
Once of the elevator I'm greeted by Stellar, Seifer's sister. Squall stood not far off looking like the world was about to end. He did Stellar wrong, and he accepted anything she was going to dish out. I couldn't help but to pity them both and hope for a quick resolution. Be it good or bad.  
  
"How are you?" I ask Stellar kindly.  
  
"Okay I guess."  
  
Okay I guess, short for I want to kill the next person who crosses my path and offer there guts to Hyne. Don't get me wrong Stellar is a kind woman, she really hates to hurt people, but when push comes to shove she'll shove. Surprisingly I can find that a refreshing pace in a friend... Well, Stellar is more like my sister then a friend. I do not consider her my friend at all. She's my sister, and she knows me better then most.  
  
"Figure out what to do yet?"  
  
"No but that bitch Quintis won't be doing anything like that again as soon as I get to her."  
  
"Upstairs class room, and how's Seifer?"  
  
"Fine, you should be getting a message from him soon."  
  
Me and Stellar walk down the corridors chit chatting about Seifer, Squall, and what Stellar was going to do to Quintis. Can't say I blame her. As I talk to her all my concerns and all my fears seems to ease. Some say they get scared around her, but I actually feel so comfortable around her. Something about her just seems so normal to me. Call me odd or call me odd. 


	3. third

This is getting odd  
  
Disclaimer I do not own FF8  
  
  
  
I just got new news on Seifer today. I didn't want to bring it up how much it bothered me that Seifer wasn't doing to well. I love him and I long to go to him and hold him tight. To comfort him, I love him so much. What could be bugging him so bad? Oddly at times I can't but to think could I be something I said or did. No matter what thought I still believe in that man. I'm not going to give up on him, I was not raised to give up. Though tears may fall from my eyes, and even though I want to scream out in frustration, I will never give up.  
  
Seifer if your so scared of what will happen if we meet again then I'll keep the distance between us. If that is what makes you happy. When your happy, it's so wonderful, and in return I'm happy. I guess it's ironic, so much like my grand parents. They to had the miles between them. Not to worry Seifer, I'm here not matter what, I may yell at you occasionally but it's just hallow. Let it blow on by.  
  
I sigh and stare at my work ahead of me, Stellar is IMing me for help on her work to. I'm just to dry when it comes to things like this. Though for a while she's been on hold, I think Seifer's on the phone. Probably can't sleep, I don't blame him considering he's at a place like that.  
  
[Stellar_Rose: Seifer told me to tell you to remember a feather.]  
  
Feather? I put my fingers on the keyboard and type back.  
  
[RinoaH: Feather?]  
  
[Stallar_Rose: Yes feather, and he's like OM he don't remember the feather.]  
  
Feather, feather, I don't remember anything about a feather. Then something hit's my mind like a bug to the windshield of a Mac truck doing 80. The feather, it was something me and Seifer had between us. He didn't like to be tickled with a feather, he'd prefer other things. I start laughing, a nice release from the tension.  
  
[RinoaH: I remember the feather now.]  
  
[Stellar_Rose: I'm not going to ask, you guys are gross.]  
  
I laugh and try not to think about what she was thinking, but Seifer knew what to say. I got my spark back and type away I was able to do. And I also gained another thing. Besides the fact the feather gave me a complex, but it also made everyone smile. I hope Stellar is able to give him a feather. I'm certain that'd brighten his mood. If not, well time to remind him of the day we met. That was pretty funny.  
  
Now as I continue the work with her, and my own work my own mood is lightened. For once in a long time. I smile and I laugh and I know things will be all right once again. As I talk to her, my mind is drawn to someone that was just logged in. Damn Seifer's links they were wise sneaky twerps. Almost conveniently Staller puts me on hold so she can work on her stuff. I owe her a lot.  
  
[RinoaH: Hi ::giggles::]  
  
[S_D_Almsy: Hey.]  
  
[RinoaH: How are you?]  
  
[S_D_Almsy: Damn Rajin and Fuijin are sneaky shits.]  
  
[RinoaH: I bet.]  
  
I look at the stalling IM with Stellar, I seem to know this is her doing. Not Raijin's and Fuijin's, but it didn't matter she could get in trouble if it was her and they found out. I smile happily; God bless the sneaky hearts.  
  
[S_D_Almsy: So yeah.]  
  
[RinoaH: So how are you?]  
  
[S_D_Almsy: so did you remember the feather??? ::holds up a feather::]  
  
I sigh I wanted to know how he was doing. He kept switch the subject, but he has questions of his own. I smile it is so great to see him. Words cannot express my excitement, I can barely keep my ass in the seat. And people think I'm nuts for the squealing noise I keep making. If they think I can suppress my happiness on seeing them, they got another thing coming.  
  
[RinoaH: Yes. ::smiles and kisses you:: Thank you.]  
  
[S_D_Almsy: Hmm well other then the fact that I can feel colors I'm ok ::kisses you back::]  
  
Finally he responds to my question how is he. Feeling colors, I'm not going to ask, but that must be some shit they have him on. Ah, the joys of being locked away in a nut house. I just hope he don't start doing the moogle dance.  
  
[RinoaH: ::hugs you:: So how are they treating you?]  
  
[S_D_Almsy: ::pings you on the nose::]  
  
[RinoaH: ::pings you back::]  
  
[S_D_Almsy: Good, and I like the pills there giving me. They make me feel squishy.]  
  
Squishy, I put my head on my hand and start to chuckle. He was being a squishy moogle, and probably doing the moogle dance. I can't help but to chuckle at the thought of him. Oddly though, I know he'd be in a padded cell for certain if he started doing the moogle dance now. Though it is there fault. Gathering my self I finally get the nerve to reply.  
  
[RinoaH: ::pings your nose:: I bet]  
  
[S_D_Almsy: so how you've been?]  
  
[RinoaH: Me, I've been okay.]  
  
[S_D_Almsy: you know my sister is the only one coming to see me as of late.]  
  
[RinoaH::kisses you:: When you see that feather think of me.]   
  
[A_D_Almsy: I do.]  
  
[RinoaH: I know don't worry I pissed off Zell off for ya.]  
  
I know I delayed that answer but I already typed out a response. I'm just so happy to see him.   
  
[RinoaH: Well unintentionally pissed him off but pissed him off nonetheless.]  
  
[S_D_Almsy: lol how did you tell him he was straight?]  
  
[RinoaH: No web page, an actual shop, high heels for men, be thankful he didn't go into the upholstery section.]  
  
[S_D_Almsy: lol]   
  
[RinoaH: ::giggles::]  
  
Me and Seifer continue on without little conversation. But soon a guard approaches him so we say our quick I love you's and good night's. Even for the little time I had with him I'm so grateful. You really never appreciate what you have till there locked away out of your reach. I flip back to Stellar's IM.  
  
[RinoaH: Thanks I owe you for this.]  
  
[Stellar_Rose: I know. =D]  
  
I sigh and look at the time, two am time for bed, tomorrow I can find out what Stellar has planned for me. She knows how much I owe her, I will pay her back. I smile and giggle I got to talk to my Seifer again. Such a great feeling, one I never take for granted anymore.  
  
***  
  
That it for now. Thanks lestatsdarkrose :) 


	4. fourth

Disclaimer I do not own FF8  
  
  
I herd from Seifer one other time after that conversation, we talked about his macaroni art, and how he fought for a certain kind to make me something. All I can say is how sweet, I mean bad Seifer, you shouldn't be fighting. I got to stop supporting him when he fights, even if it's every woman's dream. Sadly to say though Seifer's small computer was taken away. I guess I know it was just a matter of time. Suddenly it feels so lonely, and I can't send him cookies till he behaves.   
  
As everyone knows, especially around here, Seifer and behaving in the same sentence is an oxymoron. It not that he can't behave, he does what his instincts tell him to. I find that nice in him, but at times it can go to far. I don't think I need to go into explanations.  
  
I sigh and chew on my finger nail, my miniature moogle beside me, and a good book to my left. The radio is playing softly in the background, and I vaguely wonder what I'm going to do next. I feel so frustrated that I can have no contact with the man I love. Cept of course for the relaying of messages, Stellar is a good messenger thank goodness.   
  
Falling even more in love with, even though I'm at times hanging on by a moment. I guess it comes with forgetting what he's lacking, and looking at what he has. All that I hold dear in him. At times I may get jaded with what he does, but something in my heart always pulls me back to him. Well, I know that is how can be how happy her really makes me, how much he can flatter me, and how much of a fool he can be. It's just refreshing.  
  
I look at my moogle disdainfully, "Your lucky, your stuffed, you don't have to worry about a man, or life for that matter."  
  
The moogle seems t o stare back at me. I swear stuffed toys can be really creepy at times. Just like how Quintis felt walking in on me while I'm talking to the damn thing. I chuckle and shake my head, what she thought of me was fine with me. I didn't feel like straitening things up.   
  
"Your a good moogle aren't you." I scratch it's head and glance at Quintis who's backing out the door. "Yes, and one day we'll me meet Seifer, yes we will, but don't plan on any time soon my moogle."  
  
That was it, Quintis was out the door. I didn't like to paint the picture of me being insane, but I was just so high stressed in all. One person's nerves can take oh so much, and lately mine have been on the edge. Yawning I check my email one last time before I crash.  
  
Seifer Almsy Re: Hello  
  
I must be asleep, I rub my eyes, and still see the title. Well, that didn't take long for him to get his toy back. Ah God bless the sneaky hearts, they make the world a much better place. A smile crosses my face as I click on his message.  
  
***  
  
Sorry it's short, my fingers hurt and I wanna draw. Yeah I'm crazy. 


End file.
